


Foolish

by chrkrose



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 06:23:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20830838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrkrose/pseuds/chrkrose
Summary: 'Foolish girl'





	1. Harrenhal

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically a "what if this thing here happened and how that would change eveythig moving forward for Jaime and Brienne?"
> 
> Mixing show canon and book canon but only the best of both worlds :)

_ Foolish girl _

Septa Roelle whispers in her mind as if she was present right beside her. The seconds of silence stretch between them and Brienne feels her face heating up more and more.  _ What a ridiculous sight I must be _ she thinks. 

She can’t look at him, and she can’t bear it no longer, embarrassment and regret forming a lump in her throat, so she says  _ “Forgive me Ser Jaime, this was inappropriate a-and foolish and I-“  _ but before she can finish her sentence, he’s right in front of her, his hand lifting her chin so she has no other option than look straight into his eyes, shining in the darkness. 

She has to be imagining those unshed tears. 

Jaime kisses her. 

It’s light and gentle and she can’t help but close her eyes and try to commit the pressure of his lips to her memory. He smells like the soap she used to bath him earlier. Something more to lock in that place of her mind she’s for sure to visit not long after he’s gone tomorrow, even though she hopes she will be dead before she has to do that.

He breaks the kiss, and she opens her eyes instantly because she doesn’t think she’ll have another opportunity to see his face so up close to hers like this. 

Thinks he’s ready to turn around and leave her to her fate and she’s nothing but grateful for this moment he gave her.

He comes back for more instead. And this time, Brienne gasps.

This kiss is not light or gentle, despite the tenderness she feels underneath the touch of his fingers to her face. He cradles her cheek in his hand, thumb stroking her skin, but his mouth is the opposite. This kiss is hot and wet and Jaime’s tongue in her mouth and her bottom lip between his is something she can’t fully process at once. 

He presses his body against her, right arm wrapping around her waist and walks her backward slowly, until she’s pressed against a wall. She doesn’t know what to do with her hands so she settles for putting them against his neck, and not long after she’s trailing her fingers into his hair, just like she did at the thub, silk golden strands between her fingers.

Jaime makes a sound against her mouth and something deep coils inside of her. 

The way his mouth trails a path from her lips to her cheek and then her ear, catching her earlobe between his lips, makes her shiver and a sound leaves her mouth that she can’t quite believe it came from her.

It’s soft and delicate. She sounds like the maiden she is.

Jaime’s hand leaves her cheek, touching her neck and stroking the skin there briefly, trailing the exposed skin of her cleavage before cupping her breast through the fabric of the pink dress she wears. In this moment, she does not feel like the ugly beast of a woman she is. She does not feel ugly at all. All she feels is Jaime.

  
  
  
  
  


When she’s thrown inside the bear pit, when death is just a few seconds away from her, the sound of men laughing all around her feels like all of her nightmares combined brought to life. She tries to block them, tries to remember other sounds that can muffle the despair she feels growing inside of her at every move of the bear in front of her, at every scream of some man shouting above where she is. 

Anything, any sound that can stop their yelling from reaching her brain.

The sound of the water hitting the rocks near the beach on Tarth.

The sound of Galladon’s laugh while they swim.

The sound of her father’s laughter across their dining table.

The sound of Jaime’s breath in her ear.

Instead, It’s the sound of Jaime’s boots hitting the ground behind her that silence them in her head.

  
  


_ Kingslayer? _

_ Jaime. _

_ What are you doing here? _

_ Something stupid. Get behind me.  _

_ _


	2. White Sword Tower

The way Jaime looks at her from across the room makes her nervous, as if she’s bare to him just like that time when they shared a bath. Even though she’s wearing the blue dress he had it made for her.

They haven’t talked about the kiss they shared that night, before he left Harrenhal, when she thought her life was over. A lot has happened since then, and she knows it’s partially her fault that there wasn’t an opportunity for them to discuss the subject. All the way down from Harrenhal until King’s Landing, she could barely acknowledge his presence, or of any other person for that matter. 

The news of Lady Catelyn’s death hurt her more than the claws of the bear tearing the skin of her neck.  _ I failed her. Just as I failed Renly.  _ She was struck by grief and a heavy heart that ached every time she closed her eyes and opened them in the morning. 

_ Ser Jaime tried to reached out to me, to bring me back from the haze of sadness. _ Brienne remembered his attempts of striking conversations with her, of him riding beside her even though she barely looked at him. At some point he lost his patience for her sad glances and constant silence; she noticed as much by the way he taunted her a few times and no long after, Ser Jaime seemed to be frustrated by her presence and let her be, riding at the front with the man responsible to scorch them back to King’s Landing.

And then they reached the capital and so many things happened in such a short span of time that she didn’t think it was appropriate to bring it back. His son was dead, his brother imprisoned accused of being responsible for his murder, Lady Sansa was gone, disappearing right after the King fell. And there was still the matter of Loras Tyrell wanting her to be held responsible for Renly’s death. 

Brienne had been hurt at first, by Jaime’s orders of taking her to a cell. She could not understand how he had defended her the way he did in front of his guards and everyone who was there to see, going as far as threatening Loras if he tried to harm her, and then turning around and sending her to be taken to a cell as if she was guilty.

But later that day, he visited her, telling her about Vargo Hoat’s condition that she was responsible for, as if it was the funniest jape he had ever heard. She didn’t think it was that funny, but it would be a lie if she denied that it brought her some satisfaction. Still, she was hurt by his actions earlier and when he finally understood that her lack of reaction to the news he seemed so eager to share with her weren’t just because of her lack of humor, he made it clear that his decision was solely for her benefit, and not because he thought she had killed Renly

_ “You ought to be blowing me kisses wench, instead I’m received with a scowl and silence” _ he said, which had the effect of erasing the scowl from her face and replace it with a blush that spread all the way down to her neck. 

Still, she kept silent about what happened that night in Harrenhal. And even though Jaime visited her almost everyday - sometimes more than once a day, to share news about his brother’s trial, to complain about his lack of ability in his left hand, to bring her food and sometimes even eat with her himself - they never uttered a word about it.

Brienne doesn’t know exactly what she would say to him, if she’s being honest with herself. She knows why he did it, she understands he acted out of pity, concern, maybe even guilt for knowing he was leaving her behind. Not that she held it against him, quite the opposite. She understood at the time he couldn’t do anything else for her, even though she knew he had tried. But Ser Jaime was a good man, an honorable man - he came back after all, like a knight in those songs she liked so much when she was young - and saved her even though he didn’t have to. 

And Brienne knew it was his hidden kindness that made him kiss her the way he did. In the end, she didn’t know why she wanted to talk about it. And deep down she knew she wouldn’t be brave enough to bring it up after so many failed opportunities to do so.

It was better this way, in the end. He wasn’t treating her in any way different from before. And if her heart fluttered every time she saw him and if it felt like her stomach was tying itself into knots whenever he smiled at her, it was because she couldn’t learn she had no business wanting something she could never have. 

_ Foolish girl. _

But the way he looks at her right now… she can barely hear him dismissing Ser Loras, and so much is happening so fast she doesn’t know if her brain is able to catch up. She was not expecting a Septa to show up in her cell with orders of dressing her properly for court and a dress that had been made specifically for her. Brienne was not expecting Loras Tyrell to show up either, requesting to talk to her about Renly and actually listening to what she had to say, informing her that after discussing the matter with Ser Jaime, that he understood she might have been actually telling the truth. 

It’s not long after Loras leaves the room, that he breaks the silence between them, something in his gaze she still can’t properly understand. 

_ “Blue is a good color on you my lady”  _ Jaime observes, eyes traveling up and down her body, briefly lingering at her breasts and collarbones, before settling them on her face, green on blue. _ “It goes well with your eyes” _ and something sparks in his when he says that. 

Brienne glances down at herself, flustered.  _ “Septa Donyse padded out the bodice, to give it that shape. She said you sent her to me”  _ she was never good with receiving compliments, and feels as if she needs to explain that whatever made him look at her as if he approved of her wardrobe choices was more merit of the woman he sent to dress her than because of her own body. 

She looks up at him, taking in his appearance, and she knows that  _ his looks _ have nothing to do with his Kingsguard uniform or the white cloak draped over his shoulders and everything to do with Jaime Lannister. It’s almost intimidating, how beautiful he is.

_ “You look…”  _ she says, not knowing how to put into words what she sees when she looks at him.

_ “Different?”  _ He half smiles.  _ “More meat on the ribs and fewer lice in my hair, that’s all. The stump’s the same.”  _ He becomes serious then.  _ “Close the door and come here.” _

She does as he says.  _ “That wasn’t… I was about to say that it becomes you”. _ The air in the room is suddenly heavy with everything she leaves unsaid. Brienne takes a few hesitant steps in his direction, shortening the distance between them.  _ “Jaime, did you mean what you told Ser Loras? About . . . about King Renly, and the shadow?” _

_ “I would have killed Renly myself if we’d met in battle, what do I care who cut his throat?”  _ Jaime shrugs.

_ “You said I had honor…”  _

_ “I’m the bloody Kingslayer, remember? When I say you have honor, that’s like a whore vouchsafing your maidenhood.”  _ He leans back and looks up at her, and even though Brienne feels the warmth of her cheeks, she holds his gaze and opens her mouth because she needs him to understand this is not what he is anymore. Not to her at least.

_ “You have honor Ser Jaime. I’ve seen it myself.” _

Jaime says nothing and for a moment, she thinks maybe their conversation is over. Maybe she should leave? She glances back at the door where she came from. 

_ “My brother is to be sent to Casterly Rock in a sen night, until he’s well enough to take the black and head to the wall”.  _

Brienne looks back at him, and she thinks she can see relief in his eyes when he says it, even though his brother’s fate is not exactly what one would call fortunate. 

_ “What happened to him?” _

_ “Let’s say my sweet sister was not happy with his punishment and thought to make justice with her own hands. But Father intercepted before things could have gone too far”  _ Jaime starts pacing back and forth in front of her.

_ “You do not believe he did it”  _ at that, he stops, giving her a hard smile. 

_ “See, wench? We know each other too well. Tyrion’s wanted to be me since he took his first step, but he’d never follow me in kingslaying. Father hasn’t allowed me to speak to him, but I have a feeling my little brother knows more than he says. I believe he knows where Sansa Stark is, or has at least a clue.”  _ Then all the smile she could see in his face and hear in his voice slowly fades away as he stares at her intensely.  _ “Cersei means to see that the girl is found and killed, and if we want to make good our stupid vows to your precious dead Lady Catelyn, we need to find her before my sister does. We need to go to Casterly Rock and speak to Tyrion, make him talk whatever he knows but far away from the ears in these walls.” _

_ “But what about the Kingsguard? You are Lord Commander-“  _

_ “ You might not be so bad with a sword wench, but you wouldn’t last a day in court. Do you think my father’s mercy in preventing my brother’s death came from the purity of his heart? We have ourselves a deal. He prevents my brother from being condemned by a crime he hadn’t committed, sends him safely to Casterly Rock and I am to be removed from the Kingsguard and become Lord of Casterly Rock as he has always intended”.  _

Brienne gapes at him. She knows how much his place at the Kingsguard means to him. With everything that it brought to him, with the high price he paid to achieve that, even with the hidden intention Jaime believes were the reasons why he was put in that place, she knew he believed in his position. She knew he wouldn’t sacrifice that for just anything. 

Unless it meant to save the life of someone he loves. 

_ “This is unfair! Your father can’t-“  _ she tries to say, anger rising in her voice, the injustice of it all too much to swallow, but he interrupts her before she can go any further. 

_ “He can and it's done. There’s no reason to keep dwelling on that. That’s not the reason why I asked for you to be brought to my presence.”  _ Jaime looks down at his boots, seeming to find something very interesting there for a moment, but then his gaze is back on her, sharp, steady, clear.  _ “I cannot leave you here while I go back to Casterly Rock, not while my sister keeps looking for someone to blame for Jeoffrey’s death. You served our enemy, and without me here, there’s no reason for my father to not turn that against you and have you killed as soon as I step away from King’s Landing.” _

Brienne feels as if this was something more likely to happen than just a faint possibility. If it isn’t happening already. Something about the way Jaime said it made her shiver. She wonders what he’s not telling her, but suddenly Brienne feels herself scared of voicing her thoughts while still in King’s Landing. She suddenly feels watched at every corner.  _ Is it possible I’m in such danger and haven’t noticed it before? _

_ “What is it that you plan to do Ser? Your father might make me stay while you go, if that’s his wish. Your sister too”.  _

_ “You keep surprising me wench. You’re not as stupid as I thought at first”  _

She scowls at that.  _ “My name is-“  _

_ “Brienne of Tarth”  _ Jaime sighs. And then  _ “I have a gift for you”.  _ He reaches down under the Lord Commander’s chair and brings something out, wrapped in folds of crimson velvet. 

Brienne approaches him slowly, reaching out a hand and flipping back a fold of cloth. Rubies glimmer in the light as she picks the treasure up gingerly, curling her fingers around the leather grip. She slowly slides the sword free of its scabbard. Blood and black the ripples shine. A finger of reflected light runs red along the edge.  _ “Is this Valyrian steel? I have never seen such colors.” _ She asks, voice low as if she needs to be respectful in front of such a beautiful sword.

_ “Nor I. There was a time that I would have given my right hand to wield a sword like that. Now it appears I have, so the blade is wasted on me.”  _ His hand wraps around hers holding the sword, and when Brienne looks up, Jaime is looking at her.  _ “It’s yours.”  _

She starts to shake her head, ready to refuse such a gift, but Jaime doesn’t let her speak.

_ “It was forged from Ned Stark’s sword. You’ll use it to protect Ned Stark’s daughter. I want you to have it because I need you to understand there’s more to what I’ll ask you in return than just my own selfish reasons.” _

_ “What do you mean Ser?”  _

Jaime takes a deep breath.

_ “Lady Brienne, will you marry me?”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe someday I’ll revisit this world. For now, I just like to play with the idea that one kiss was all it took for Jaime to come up with the best way to protect Brienne and have her with him for the rest of his life. And yes, in this world the Mountain was killed and Oberyn survived because apparently Braime kissing is powerful enough to cause a huge butterfly effect that changes everything. Ugh their power. 
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


End file.
